I am originally from the UK, haved lived in Saudi Arabia, and now live in Katy, Texas. I am a Christian who Has an interest in applying my knowledge, understanding and beliefs to what I see going on in the world around me.
applyingmybeliefs has written 399 posts for Applyingmybeliefs

Triangling in a Marriage

Triangulation, or triangling as it sometimes known, is a method that one member of a dyadic relationships (2 persons) tries to use to decrease tension or conflict, fix a real or perceived problem and sometimes attempts to use to improve and/or facilitate communication. Triangling was originally developed as a psychological term by the psychiatrist Murray … Continue reading

Games We Play in Recovery

This was the content of the message I gave at our Prodigal worship service on 3-2-19.  Prodigal is a special service for addicts and their families.  It might seem a little long; I decided to post it all at one time instead of breaking the games out and publishing it in pieces.  We were focusing … Continue reading

Values Exercise

In my counseling practice, I give people homework.  Homework helps keep the number of sessions in check and gives me a gauge on the willingness of my counselees to change.  Willingness is a major factor in the level of success the counselee will have in their effort to make their life better.  A great deal … Continue reading

An Opposite Action Tool for Shame

This is part of a series of tools I am writing to help those who struggle with emotional regulation. Opposite Action (OA) is the term psychologists use to describe a technique that is designed to help a person regulate emotions, where those emotions lead to poor outcomes in life’s situations, that involves deliberate behavior change. … Continue reading

A Letting Go Exercise

Below I am laying out a “Letting Go” exercise I use.   Have a therapist help you through it, particularly if the thing you want to let go of is traumatic in nature.  It can be done as homework or in real time in a therapy session.   Also note that a good therapist will be able … Continue reading

Book Review – When Loving Him is Hurting You

Hawkins, David PhD.  When Loving Him is Hurting You.  Eugene, OR.  Harvest House Publishers, 2017.   ISBN 978-0736969819 On the front cover it says this: “Hope and help for women dealing with narcissism and emotional abuse.” I liked this book, and as a therapist I will be able to suggest that some of my clients read … Continue reading

Methods and Signs of Emotional Abuse

I seem to have run across marriages where the male partner appears to exhibit narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorder traits or characteristics in the recent past.  I find myself listening to wives who describe eerily similar situations in their marital relationship.  An example would be “I have to walk on eggshells around him!” Wives who … Continue reading

Defeating Loneliness

Loneliness is a major debilitating emotional state.  God knew this was going to become true after the fall of mankind into sin, so he said this in His word: Gen 2:18 – Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for … Continue reading

Behavioral Risks to Intimacy

In previous blogs I have identified behaviors, which I called intimacy destroyers and/or intimacy busters, which spouses engage in within the marriage relationship.  In this essay I am going to cover conduct that we habitually demonstrate in our external relationships that may also pose a risk to the intimacy in a marriage.  To do this … Continue reading

Book Review – Love Thy Body

Pearcey Nancy R.  (2018)  Love Thy Body.  Grand Rapids, MI.  Baker Books.   ISBN 978-0801075728 This book is subtitled “Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality.” Nancy Pearcey is a professor of Apologetics for HBU, a Scholar-in-Residence, and director of the Center for Christian Worldview.  For more information go to: http://www.HBU.edu/ChristianThought and NancyPearcey.com This is worth … Continue reading